Critters

I love my dog. I really do. There are actually a lot of animals I love...but some that I'm not so crazy about. As in, if I see anything that slithers, I usually run away/scream/cry/all of the above. No joke. There is a reason that Satan was a serpent in the Bible. So, with all that being said, this is the joke that my friends played on me last month when we were fishing at one of their cabins in Michigan.



Along this same subject line, since moving to Texas, Dutch Boy and I have experienced some other interesting critters. (By interesting, I mean, I'm not a fan.) There was the time several months ago when I turned the alarm clock off at 5:32 a.m., stumbled out of bed, and opened the shower curtain, only to hear something scurrying through the shower. I am also, it's decided, not a fan of cockroaches...especially those of the Texas variety. Everything IS bigger in Texas. Anyways, I woke up sleeping Dutch Boy and made him go kill it for me. Now that's love.

Our apartment has a fireplace. (Why? I have no idea. Rarely does it get below 40 degrees here, so fires are not typically a necessity.) Anyways, last winter we bought a load of firewood, and I had burned through all but the last several pieces. One day when it was actually cool enough to justify a fire, I started one when I got home from school. Several minutes later, I happened to look over on the hearth and noticed a swarm of ants. A colony of RED ANTS had decided to make its nest inside MY firewood. So, what was there to do? I grabbed the vacuum, pulled off the hose, and sat like a crazed woman for the next half hour, sucking up evil red ants and secretly relishing the chance to do so.

And lastly? We had potatoes go bad in the cupboard awhile back. I'm not going to disgust you with the details, because a)you might be eating, and, b)I don't want you to hate me forever. Just use your imagination and think of the worst thing that could possibly be discovered inhabiting my potatoes.