The Back-to-School List

I have to go back to work next Monday after a nice, long, dull summer of respite and sloth.  That means that in the last week I remembered just how many goals I had when the summer began, and how few of those goals have actually gotten accomplished.

Today I started cleaning out our bedroom and closet.  We moved in last summer, and ever since then, I feel like neither of those spaces has ever been completely organized.  I started in on the closet this morning.  This is what it looked like when I started:

 Def-Com 5.  I know.

Sidebar:  Apparently I have issues.  Do you see all those clothes?

Unfortunately, no bulldozers were willing to come in and help me shovel things out, so I used only my brute strength and huge muscles to clean it out all by myself.

Sidebar:  Do you know anyone with a bulldozer?

I have an incredibly short attention-span and that closet gets really stuffy, really quick in the Texas summers, so in between my 15-minute stints of cleaning, I sat on the couch, stuffing my face with ice cream and watching Real Housewives reruns. 

Sidebar:  I swore that I would never watch an episode of Real Housewives.  That all changed last week when I realized I could get them on Hulu.  Stupid technology.  Real Housewives is detrimental to my health.  It is also highly addictive.

While actually cleaning, I found a box of winter clothes that I forgot I have. 

Sidebar:  In case you forgot, I live in Texas.  Having a box chock-full of wool sweaters and cashmere socks is superfluous.

Most of them are getting donated to Salvation Army, along with countless other random belongings of which, before this morning, we thought we could not live without--including, that's right...a fanny pack that my hubby got at some conference awhile back. 

Sidebar:  A fanny pack?!?  Really?! 




Meanwhile, this is the dog...

Sidebar:  Yes, she's still sleeping on the fireplace.






To be continued...

Getting Comfy

I don't know if you realize this, but Central Texas in August might as well be the surface of the sun.  I hear that it's only about 10 degrees cooler here.  It's 11:30 right now, and the thermometer already says 93.  Not promising.

Because of this, poor Miss Lady has been trying to find new ways to stay cool.  This is what she discovered about 20 minutes ago:

The bowl kept getting pushed over...

Until it fell on the floor and she had all the space to herself.








Oh, the life of a dog.

5 Things

1. My dog is a freak. This is how she spends 90% of her sleeping time (which is about 89% of her overall time).









2. On Friday I drove to the cute little downtown of Georgetown, Texas. I searched for some antiques. Here is what resulted...

My purchase. I love Delft.









3. While there, I also snapped some pictures...

Cute little alleyway in Georgetown.

The county courthouse.







4. Last night we made Bananas Foster for dessert (or Flaming Bananas, as my family always called them growing up...sometime I will have to write about the time(s) my dad lost an eyebrow in the process).

I was so excited to do this. I mean, who doesn't love fire and rum? I tied my hair back, made sure nothing was in burning distance, and stood back to light the mixture. The problem with last night's attempt was that they didn't have the flame part going on. Failure. I think the rum burned off too quickly. (Why is all the rum gone? Where has all the rum gone? Name that movie.) Here is what they looked like:

I call this my face my Evil, Try to Light the Booze on Fire-face.

But, alas, no fire. Who cares. The bananers were still delish.




5. On Thursday, I got together with our special ed. posse from school for a summer reunion at Chuy's. I love me some creamy jalapeno :-) Stephanie bought us all Big Girl (Disney) sippy cups. I represented Snow White of the bunch, which was very fitting, given my pasty-white complexion. (Although the pasty-whiteness is getting better, considering how much swimming in the pool/creek I've done this summer.)

That's all for now! Happy Monday :-)

Dreams

I have never been a deep sleeper. Typically, it takes me quite awhile to fall asleep, and then I wake up several times during the night, tossing and turning. This means that I spend a good portion of my sleep in Dreamland, dreaming of who-knows-what...usually my dreams are excessively strange.

For example, this one from several years ago stands out in my mind. I went to Toys R Us to buy a new purse. (In case you didn't know, the best purses come from Toys R Us...or something.) While there, I also purchased a large amount of vegetable oil. Don't ask. On the way out, it started raining, and these GIANT snapping turtles came up out of the puddles and started chasing me. These were not your typical turtles either. In a race between the tortoise(s) and the hare, my dream-turtles definitely would have won. Eventually, I managed to outrun them, but only after hopping over a large guardrail and having a nearby cop pull out his gun. Interpret that one...I DARE you.

This week I have really gotten into a book by Philippa Gregory, who writes historic fiction, based on the royal families of Europe from long ago. Right now, I'm reading The White Queen, about Queen Elizabeth of York. Apparently, I've been a little too into it, as last night my dream involved me hiding out with all my allies in the Tower of London. Trust me...if I ever had to hide out, a creepy place like the Tower of London is the last place I would go.



Also, later in the night, I dreamed that I went shopping at Kohl's, only to get suckered into helping with their day care program. Summer vacation, and apparently I still can't get away from kids. Sad.

Critters

I love my dog. I really do. There are actually a lot of animals I love...but some that I'm not so crazy about. As in, if I see anything that slithers, I usually run away/scream/cry/all of the above. No joke. There is a reason that Satan was a serpent in the Bible. So, with all that being said, this is the joke that my friends played on me last month when we were fishing at one of their cabins in Michigan.



Along this same subject line, since moving to Texas, Dutch Boy and I have experienced some other interesting critters. (By interesting, I mean, I'm not a fan.) There was the time several months ago when I turned the alarm clock off at 5:32 a.m., stumbled out of bed, and opened the shower curtain, only to hear something scurrying through the shower. I am also, it's decided, not a fan of cockroaches...especially those of the Texas variety. Everything IS bigger in Texas. Anyways, I woke up sleeping Dutch Boy and made him go kill it for me. Now that's love.

Our apartment has a fireplace. (Why? I have no idea. Rarely does it get below 40 degrees here, so fires are not typically a necessity.) Anyways, last winter we bought a load of firewood, and I had burned through all but the last several pieces. One day when it was actually cool enough to justify a fire, I started one when I got home from school. Several minutes later, I happened to look over on the hearth and noticed a swarm of ants. A colony of RED ANTS had decided to make its nest inside MY firewood. So, what was there to do? I grabbed the vacuum, pulled off the hose, and sat like a crazed woman for the next half hour, sucking up evil red ants and secretly relishing the chance to do so.

And lastly? We had potatoes go bad in the cupboard awhile back. I'm not going to disgust you with the details, because a)you might be eating, and, b)I don't want you to hate me forever. Just use your imagination and think of the worst thing that could possibly be discovered inhabiting my potatoes.

Anniversaries and Such

Have I mentioned that I have the greatest husband in the entire world? Well, I do...but don't tell Dutch Boy I said that. I need some leverage against him, and it might hurt my street cred. This weekend was our first wedding anniversary. (In unison, now: AWWWWW....) I got flowers, a special breakfast, dinner at a restaurant where you definitely don't want to have fins (a.k.a. a seafood place), and, best of all, I got to pick out a new, fancy-pants camera.

With this new and wonderful camera which I have almost no clue how to use (words like aperture and ISO make for a reason to learn an entire new vocab), I've been trying to take some artsy pictures. Needless to say, it's going to take some practice. Here are some of my first (of many) attempts:


This was my attempt to kill two birds with one stone: exercise the dog and take photos at the Botanical Gardens. Epic fail. She crashed through the bushes, went to the bathroom in one of the orchids, played in the water features, and then decided (as seen in this picture) that she needed to hop up and down several large boulders (which I'm sure was not the intention of whomever decided to put said rocks there). We left before we got kicked out.


Sleeping beauty. It's a dog's life.


"Please stop putting that camera in my face. What's a girl gotta do to get some rest around here?!?"


Anniversary tulips.


My life. In pictures.

Potatoes, Gumby, and New Year's Resolutions

What do these three things have in common? They were all on my mind tonight, amongst other things. Warning: This post may be random. Scratch that. It will be random.

First, the potatoes. (Now, there's a lead-in to a gripping story.) Dutch Boy and I went home to the frozen northern tundra for the holidays. We were gone for almost two weeks. We left the bag of potatoes in the dark cabinet for those two weeks...and this resulted:


Gumby's dad died today. Ok, not so much his dad, but his creator, Art Clokey. I'm sad. Sad, because Gumby was a part of my childhood (my brother had a borderline obsession with him for about six months). Sad, because I never knew who Art Clokey was until it was too late. You never realize who these people are until they're gone, even though they've become such a part of who you are.

I hate New Year's Resolutions. I hate the fact that I'm making a list of things to change and that most likely I won't accomplish them. I hate the fact that I feel like I can't say that something is worth changing until the new year rolls around. However, this year I made two:
-Read two books a month. Should be easy to accomplish, but I've failed at it in the past. Life always seems to get in the way.
-Take a yoga/pilates/step/whatever fitness class. I don't want to die of cardiac arrest before I'm thirty, and I feel like I'm well on my way to keeling over. I have yet to get started on this goal, but I've got all year, right?

Finally, moments like this make all the stress of teaching at least entertaining, if not worthwhile:
While playing Trivia with fourth graders...
Me: What Native American princess is famous for helping the settlers at Jamestown?
[Crickets.]
Me: Here's a hint...It was a Disney movie.
Fourth Grader: CINDERELLA!!